Cycles of Stress , Sleep & Perimenopause
Why You’re Waking at 3am (and What Your Body’s Trying to Say)
The Hidden Link Between Perimenopause, Cortisol Spikes, and Sleepless Nights
There’s a certain type of 3am wake-up that feels so familiar it’s like a haunting — cortisol-fuelled insomnia where your body jolts into a low-level bracing position before your mind even catches up. Heart fluttering, jaw tight. It’s not just mental chatter — it’s as if your whole system is alert, tossing and turning as unprocessed emotions rise to the surface. Sometimes it feels like your body is trying to complete a story it didn’t get the chance to finish during the day.
My last couple of luteal phases (the two weeks before bleeding) hit differently. I had a growing sense of unease, a jitteriness under my skin, and then the return of the dreaded early-hours insomnia. Flashbacks to my 20s, lying wide-eyed in the dark during stressful chapters. Except this time, I’m 39. And perimenopause is definitely starting to pull up a seat.
Sleep disturbances in perimenopause are so common, particularly in that 3–5am window. It’s when cortisol naturally starts to stir—but when we're emotionally or hormonally depleted, the spike can feel like a jolt of electricity rather than a gentle wave. Combine that with the usual pressures of modern life and it’s no wonder so many women find themselves lying awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering how to soften the noise inside.
Lately, life’s felt a bit wobbly — moving out of my flat, a beloved studio closing, and my dad’s recent Parkinson’s diagnosis. The ground beneath my usual routines felt shaky — no wonder my nervous system has been sounding the alarm at 3am. These events have left me questioning whether it's hormonal, situational, or both. The truth is: stress and sleep are inextricably linked, and midlife change — internally and externally — brings it all up to the surface.
The Nervous System & Our Energy Cycles
We often talk about energy like it’s this mysterious resource we either have or don’t. But in reality, the energy that lasts is the kind that’s paced — energy we protect by noticing when we’re doing too much and choosing to pause before we crash.
From a nervous system lens, we’re constantly shifting between activation and restoration. Our sympathetic nervous system (SNS) helps us get stuff done—alertness, action, movement. But too much time there (hello, stress hormones) leads to burnout. We burn through energy like kindling, often without realising it, until we’re utterly depleted.
Then there’s the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS)—the part that lets us rest, digest, heal. But if stress is chronic or trauma unresolved, even softening can feel unfamiliar, even unsafe. We stay braced, even in stillness.
Fatigue, inflammation, and poor sleep can all be signs that our system is stuck in a high-alert mode. From the outside, someone might look “fine,” but inside it’s like revving the engine while the handbrake’s still on.
Managing Your Energy on the Days You Didn’t Sleep Well (Hello, 3pm Slump)
The day after a poor night’s sleep is bound to feel shaky — when sleep’s disrupted, our energy rhythm can be totally out of sync. We’re meant to have natural dips in the day — little windows where the body quietly asks for rest or nourishment. But most of us override them and push through, keeping ourselves wired in stress mode.
If you’re someone who reaches for caffeine or something sweet around 4pm — you're not alone. That mid-afternoon dip is biological. Cortisol naturally lowers, and blood sugar wavers. What your body might really be craving is a moment to pause, breathe, and reset.
The more we honour those rest pockets in the day — with light movement, fresh air, or just a lie-down without guilt— the more we teach our system it’s safe to soften. And that safety, over time, is what helps the body trust it can let go and sleep deeply again.
Even five minutes can make a difference.
Top Tips to Move Through the Slump (Without Overwhelm)
✨ Move Freely – Get outside, even if just for 10 minutes. Stomp around the park. Let your arms swing. Move your breath. Let the fresh air do some of the lifting.
✨ Rest Deeply – If you find yourself constantly propping yourself up with sugar or caffeine, it might be your body whispering: I need actual rest, not stimulation.
✨ Don’t Overthink It – One small thing at a time. That’s how we build rhythm again. Maybe today it’s lying down in constructive rest. Tomorrow, a yoga nidra. Next week, a slow flow to lift the fog. Let it be simple.
Energy Moves in Cycles. So Should We.
If you're struggling with sleep, energy dips, emotional reactivity or general “WTF is happening to my body?!” — you're not alone. These shifts aren’t linear. They don’t follow neat timelines. But tuning into your circadian rhythm and menstrual cycle can help you meet yourself more gently in the process.
Before deep rest, we often need to discharge. To shake it out. To move. This is where the Move Freely, Rest Deeply approach comes in.
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Think of it as your nervous system's reset button — a way to create sustainable energy without having to power through. You can even follow it with a good lie-down to help your system integrate and fully recharge.
We don’t need to push.
We need to listen.
And sometimes, we just need to lie down and cry a bit before we can sleep.
That’s okay too.
More on the art of rest coming in my next blog post.
Big LOVE,
Eirian ✌️❤️